I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
