Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
