Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
