Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
