I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I stole a fireplace last night.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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