so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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