Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
