bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
