I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
