If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
