If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
