So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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