I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
