I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
