i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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