kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
