He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
