we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
