You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
