i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
