Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
