i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
