You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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