You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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