Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
