Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
