there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
