youre lurking in front of me
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
