McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
