Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
The air taste purple.
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