my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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