actually, I'm a sock model
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
