in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Someone shit on the floor
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
