Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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