trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's shark week go big or go home
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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