one might say we're banned from that church
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
