I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
