I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
