ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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