Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
