So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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