after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
