the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
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