What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize