Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
