i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
