guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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