He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
