grandma shit on top of the toilet
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize