her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
