I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
