you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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