Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize