I must be too annoying 4 u.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
