ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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