2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
